Jealousy? Resentment? Not sure what to call it…

I’m feeling a little down today. Well, I wasn’t, but, now I am. I just get really pissed off when I see how well I’m NOT doing. Like, I just got paid today, can I go out to lunch? Absolutely not. Because after paying the rent (which was due yesterday) that leaves us with $45. That’s to last us for another week, for gas, food, smokes, and whatever else (transmission fluid for my pos car). I mean, when will it give? And here I sit, AT WORK, not taking lunches to try and get as close to 40hrs a week as I can because we need the money. I don’t get to take days off and hang out with my friends, or run around or get drunk… and it fucking sucks. I’m tired of not having fun. I want to be able to do things when I want to. I want to be able to buy myself a freaking cheeseburger off the damn dollar menu if I want! But I can’t. I’m stuck counting change (from my kids piggy bank) to buy a bottle of tranny fluid for my car to get to work. 

I don’t know what to do to fix this, change this, what the fuck ever it’s going to take to make it different. I mean, I’m trying the Zazzle store to make some money, Nothing sold yet. I work 40hrs a week (only bringing home $260/week). WHAT CAN I DO????? I have TONS of ideas, things to make, etc, just no one to buy them I guess. 

So, to answer the question Jess asked on her blog today… Yes money can make you happy. At least right now, for me, it would. 

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