Is this what I really need?

I don’t have time in my life for people that refuse to treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated. I’ve been sad for long enough. The past few months have been sooo fun. I’ve met a lot of cool people, a few amazing people, and one or two shitters(can’t win them all). I’ve been alone and I’ve been the center of attention. Now this is all good and exciting, but the best part has been the overall calm that I’ve felt inside my mind, body, and soul. It’s something that I’ve never felt before, and I am not going to let that go. And I’m starting to realize that you have to hold onto it tight if you want to keep it. I say this because chaos will try to sneak back into your life. And chaos sneaky bitch, and good at what it does. Manipulating situations until you feel like You did something wrong. Well, I did nothing to deserve shit like that. And I WILL NOT PUT UP WITH IT ANY MORE.

I’m a very caring person with strong emotions. I work smart, I play hard, and I love deeply. I have so much to offer the world, and more to offer the one I’m with. Shit, I take that last part back, I offer the one I’m with everything I have. And would do anything for them. Keyword, WOULD. You can’t be like that anymore. No one appreciates anything anymore. Everyone forgot what favors are, and what friends do for friends just because they’re friends. Respect? Haha that’s gone. Well maybe I won’t say gone but definitely on its way out the door. Wow, and the text message I just got reminded me of another one… selfishness. It really pisses me off when someone says that I’m selfish. I’m one of the most selfless people I know!  But according to chaos, I’m hurtfull and selfish. You know what, you’re right, I am going to be selfish now. It’s time that I take care of me and stop trying to take care of everyone else. I keep telling all my girlfriends “you can’t save them all”, I guess I need to listen to my advice.


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